I found this while cleaning out some folders on my hard drive.  After 8 years in the Orlando area, these I can vouch for. The original list is longer, and I removed the items which don’t apply to non-native Floridians.  The ones I’ve marked with asterisks I have found to be particularly true.


“Down South” means Miami

“Panhandling” means going to Pensacola.

You think no one over 70 should be allowed to drive.

Flip-flops are everyday wear.

Shoes are for business meetings and church.

No, wait, flip flops are good for church too, unless it’s Easter or Christmas.

Sweet tea can be served at any meal.

** You smirk when a game show’s “Grand Prize” is a trip or cruise to Florida.

You measure distance in minutes.

You have a drawer full of bathing suits…. and one sweatshirt.

** You get annoyed at the tourists who feed seagulls.

All the local festivals are named after a fruit.

** A mountain is any hill 100 feet above sea level.

You think everyone from a bigger city has a northern accent.

** You know the four seasons really are: almost summer, summer, not summer but really hot and Christmas.

It’s not soda, cola, or pop…its coke, regardless of brand or flavor, “What kinda coke you want?”

** Anything under 95 is just warm.

** Anything under 70 is chilly.

** You pass on the right and honk at the elderly.

** You understand the futility of exterminating cockroaches.

You can pronounce Okeechobee, Kissimmee and Withlacoochee.

You understand why it’s better to have a friend with a boat than have a boat yourself.

You’ve worn shorts and used the A/C on Christmas.

Socks are only for bowling

You never use an umbrella because you know the rain will be over in five minutes

** A good parking place has nothing to do with distance from the store but everything to do with shade.

You can tell the difference between fire ant bites and mosquito bites

** You know that no other grocery store can compare to Publix

You know that anything under a Category 3 just isn’t worth waking up for.

** You dread lovebug season.

You are on a first name basis with the Hurricane list. They aren’t Hurricane Charley, Hurricane Frances…but Charley, Frances, Ivan and Jeanne.

You know what a snowbird is and you hate them.

You think a six-foot alligator is actually pretty average.